A Crooked Smile

written by Lisa Gniady

A few years back I awoke with one side of my face drooping. I quickly ran through a mental “stroke” checklist: could I speak, raise my arms, and balance, etc.  

Although I passed all those tests, my daughter took me to the ER where the doctors diagnosed me with Bell’s Palsy. I was relieved, knowing this, I could heal. 

On an emotional level, looking at myself in a new way, seeing my altered external projection, was shocking. I realized I was just happy to be alive. I can now look back on this experience as a gift. My true essence didn’t change just because half my face was drooping into a frown while the other smiled. My external projection was different but I hadn’t changed. I was still ME. Loving myself for me, crooked smile and all. 

I now looked at the world with “new eyes”. 

Here is a channeled reflection of my experience.

A Crooked Smile

I once was straight but now I am not

Woke up in the morning 
And what did I see
But a new person looking back at me

My eye drooped
My smile was a half
And now what do I do?

I went to the hospital and went through
Many tests to rule out all those things
That are really bad and rings 

The bells of fear
So when Bell’s Palsy it is
I rang the bell of a cheer

Who would have thought 
A crooked face would make me smile
But the alternatives
Would have been much more volatile

You see I feel fine
The pain is gone
All that remains is the new physical form

So when I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself
I smile my half smile 
And wink my one eye
Because truly I am fine

So when you see me and feel bad, don’t
The alternative was worse
And with this I had hope

So look at me with compassion 
For the little challenges you see
But I truly am happy

So my Crooked smile
Is a gift you see
A gift to a new perspective of living
A life of gratitude
A life of appreciation
A life of strength
A life of understanding

So I lie down at night and give thanks
For another day
Of feeling good
And being able to say

My crooked smile is mine
And I am as beautiful as always you see
As truly

I am still me